4) “Are We Friendly, or Flirting?” Guys: Think Itzli and Payam; guys who write me messages, “like” my photos and meet me at parties, but don’t set up dates, don’t seem to be overtly flirting and just seem to want to be friends. Interaction Level: 2-3/10.
5) Others I’ve Dated (and Broken Up With): Jeremi, Ansel, etc; guys I’ve liked, dated, been very attracted to. Am I keeping the fire warm for them, in case they suddenly turn into the types of guys I want to date? Maybe. Is that so bad? Are they pining after me? Maybe, if their consistent photo “likes” and wall comments are any indication. Interaction Level: 3-4/10.
6) Actual Guy Friends: These are guys I’ve known for years, never toyed with the idea of dating them (ok, maybe once, for a day or two) and the sort of people who will send me a quick message with photos of their baby son, or invite me to their wedding. Basically, they’re like brothers to me. Interaction Level: 1-3/10.
I know that I’m an open personality, which brings me in contact with amazing people in my life, but am I too open? Should I be taking a page out of Francois’ book and defriending more often? No. It’s not that I don’t defriend (none of my Match.com dates except Ansel are Facebook friends), it’s that I always ask myself these two questions before defriending anyone:
Is this defriending necessary? Is he bothering me, obsessively pining after me or trying to ruin my reputation?
Is his presence in my life a negative one? For example, is he always complaining about other people / his life in his updates?
If I answer “yes” to any of those questions …